100 Word Challenge #34
One day, Lucy went to Sumner beach with her husband, it was such beautiful weather. Gru and her saw something huge blue box and Gru and she run to the blue box. Gru and she smell banana, Gru and she heard lagha and She want open blue box so bad. Next day, She got fitness at sumner beach she saw the blue box again so as she lifted the lid the box. She saw the millon minions and she get blue box to truck to Gru's house and gave the millon minions. Gru have three girls.
100 Word Challenge #33
One day, Dad and his twin girls went to sea for fishing. Then his daughter said this old boat is so ugly. The girls ask dad "Where we going?" We went to catch fish. Suddenly we saw the weather was so terrible. But the ferocious wind was coming out to sea and the twins yelled so loud "Look out!" The wave was so huge and the water splashed over the boat and dad and the twins was cried out. The boat sunk and they all died. Their Mum was on land and saw it happen. She will never forget them.
They all died?! What an ending. Thanks for editing this so well with Jacqui. You've done a great job and great use of punctuation! :)
ReplyDeleteQuite a powerful story, Jorga. I especially liked the way you described the storm and the crisis of the boat sinking. It must have been so hard bein the mom, watching but not able to do anything.
ReplyDeleteMs. Sargent
Team 100WC-USA.
Thank :)
ReplyDeleteHi Jorja, this is a comment for week 34.
ReplyDeleteIt is great to hear you ideas and You have tried really hard with your descriptions. Keep writing and re-drafting, just like famous authors. Well done Lisa Team 100WC England